30 & dating: Ladies these are the things to and not do

It has been a while since I have written any dating advice. I had not really been paying any attention to it until the other day when one of my female friends asked me what happen to the “Weekend Off Topic” that I use to do. Who knew anyone was paying attention. We had a very long discussion about dating after you are secure and established. It takes time to be happy with who you are. It is even harder to be happy with where you are in your life. Then add in a relationship. That is the breakdown of our intense conversation. So to you Miss DC Socialite…Dating at 30 or over.

I think at your 20′s you don’t yet know who you are. You may be mature and have an idea but you can not really who know you are. It’s not possible because you have not lived life enough. You are just getting out of school or just starting a career. It takes experiences. Meeting men in your 20′s is not the same as in your 30’s. Your priorities should have by this time evolved. If you still have the same perspective on dating you did when you were in your 20′s, you still have some maturing to do. At this stage in the game family should be your main focus.

By now you should have that dream job you put so much work into. Your school loans are under control. You have a car you love or if a city dweller Zipcar & Metro are your best friends. Basically your life is in order. You are happy with who you are and where you are. Dating is no longer something that is a must for you. It’s a want. Now with most wants sometimes common sense is thrown out the window. The definition of dating really means: A courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the others suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.

Now when you get to a particular age, we will say 30 for the sake of argument; you start to drift away from that definition. Somehow suitability is mistaken for an over compromise and disregard of good judgement. Here are some steps and rules to help you in your search with emphasis placed on the digital world.

[I] Settling

Older women settle for less than they deserve a whole lot because they feel their biological clock is ticking. So they date someone they really don’t want instead of being single. In this day and age you don’t have to do that. There many well-respected dating sites out there that do much of the leg work for you. It literally does all the work. eHarmony, OK Cupid, Match and even Facebook used the right way can do a good job filtering out the rift raft. So give it a try before settling for anything.

[II] Looking for Mr. Forever with Mr. Right now

This mistake happens from the jump. You are dating to look in hopes of finding a groom eventually. Date to get to know someone. Stop trying to marry on day one. Try to build a friendship first and maybe a relationship can form out of that. When you try to force something what ends up is you force the complete reverse. Dating as an interview for a husband is a quick way to make sure you stay single.

[III] Expand your pool

The only thing constant about life is change. Therefore you should try to be open to it. I know at this age you differently know what you want but that is no reason not to sample. Everyone has a list of must haves in a person. While that list is important because you have spent years refining it and it helps you not compromise. Holding steadfast to that list and not exploring outside your type can lead to your type being single. Use good judgement instead of being closed-minded.

[IV] Determine if it’s ok that you make more

If your flash answer was no. Please stop reading, go back to number 3. Expand your pool. You are in your 30′s. We have established you have your house of cards in order. Keep in mind that not everyone keeps their cards stacked the same way. Let’s take it a step further; you don’t necessarily need a man to take care of you. Neyo wrote the song “She got her own” for you. At this stage in your life you have homes, cars and travel off your own income. Big deal, you can’t have a family with contentment. Now that does not mean settling for a bum. If you meet someone who is happy and making enough yet still has ambitions don’t write them off.

[V] Stop being a punk

That is the only way to call it. You have a date and it was wonderful. Fairytale, storybook, Hollywood and an endless love type date. There were a few more dates of equal caliber. You feel like your ready to jump the broom. Hold on there buckaroo. Use your patience to talk things out. I have been told I get smitten very quickly. A good friend of mine explained the difference between smitten and sprung. Sprung is all lust but when you are smitten you lack reason and good judgment. You are running on 100% emotion. After that high runs out usually a month later. Women in their 30′s end things if they have not progressed past simply dating. Quickly throwing in the towel does only one thing; ensure you remain single. Evaluate the person you are with. Have open and honest discussions about what your end game is with each other. Note: that does not mean wedding bells but you can allude to a more official role in each others lives.

[VI] Dating on a clock

What I mean by that is giving yourself time frames to make life events happen. When there are other people involved that almost never works out. So skip the timeline and just live life. You will be surprised how well that works out when you can take your time to enjoy rather than worry.

[VII] Make time to date

You are CIO, CEO, CPA, Director or a manager. You already have a relationship with your career. You love that relationship so much that at times you may forget there are other types of relationships out there. At 30 our lives are busy. We are doing 100′s of things for our careers. We are buzzing around town honoring our social obligations and maybe even have a mini me at home too. Unfortunately that leaves little time for dates. The thing is if you do not make the time. You will not just happen to have it.

[VIII] 1 at a time

Date more than one person. This does not mean that you got out and be a free spirit. What it means is get to know more than one person until you feel only one person deserves you time. Be picky not snobby and not shallow.

[IX] Communication is key

Even in the mature 3rd decade of your life. It can still be hard to find the words to express yourself. Yeah, it’s easy in the office. You can hold down a meeting with out breaking a sweat but personal one on one may not be your cup of tea. Well you need to go British and start loving that tea. Talk, talk and talk some more.

[X] Don’t do the same old same old

You are not going be one of those lame all people who just do dinner and movie are you? Good because you should not. You should think outside of the box and do something creative. Or at least have him do something creative. Put the ball in their court and see what they come up with. The last thing you want is to get in a rut while just starting out.

{XI] Take care of you

Now the most important thing to remember is you come first. Don’t worry so much about dating that you forget to take care of yourself.

Drifting apart? Here is how to stay a couple

 

It has been a while since I have written any relationship advice so I thought I do that this weekend. Do you feel like you and your partner are drifting apart? It seems that the only time you two talk is to ask for something. You don’t have anything to talk about other than to talk about why you don’t talk anymore. Let’s say she wants to go to the movies but you are more of a stay at home and watch Game of Thrones type of person.

It’s more like you have a pen pal more than a loving relationship. You don’t mean for this to happen it just does over time.  You’re both pretty busy with work, maybe the kids and errands. After work you just want to be left alone and in the morning you have no time for anything else. Here is how you can start to work your back to each other.  Try just these 3 things and see how you do.

[I] Make time to talk to each other

I don’t mean talking about your kids, bills or money issues. No I mean take the time to find out what is going on in their life. You can even talk about a show or say a blog you might have read called Saintel’s Daily.

[II] Enjoy each other again

By that I mean how about you go out on a weekend trip. Nothing too expensive or you can pick up a hobby together. Basketball or dancing.Friday movie night or even just an afternoon coffee date at Starbucks.

[III] Go on a date

Not one of those quick movie nights. I mean a real date. Food at a very nice restaurant and a show. Act like you are dating again for the first time. Keep your phone in the car and no other devices at the table. Have conversations about anything other than work and if you have them kids. You want to try to learn as much about each other as possible.

Discussions for long term relationships & before getting married

The love is there. You two have been together for a while. The next step is to tie the knot. Marriage is a very important decision and I plan to make it last. I will not be a stat for divorce. So it’s crucial that couples have discussions followed by more discussion about the important things.

The leading cause of divorce is money, sex and religion. So while dating someone these may not be all that important; when it comes to marriage values need to be aligned. You have to set your expectations and compromise. Is that clear?

The person that said “all you need is love,” has never been in a real long-term committed relationship. It’s a myth. One that movies love to show off. In the real world it takes loads of work to make a relationship stable. People stay in long-term relationships because they love each other. So when they get married love is not the issue.  Not having proper discussions about what to expect and values leads to filing for devoice for “irreconcilable differences.”  Here are things to talk about with your partner before getting married. These are also helpful to see how well you are paired to your current partner even if marriage is not in the cards just yet.

[I] Pet peeves become monsters
The habits that bother you know will just kill you later. You have to ask yourself can you deal with them forever. I know what you are thinking. My partner will change. That is not the case. You are with a grown adult. They may change for a little while but it most likely revert back to the norm for them.  That is why I am a big fan of living with someone first before you marry them. Call it a trial run if you will.

[II] Stress kills and ends relationships
Marital life will be stressful. Now if you know that ahead of time. You will be able to deal with it better. Does your partner need at least 1 hour to relax after work.  Do you know when your partner is tired they really just want to be left alone. Do you need your space? To they need to be assurance how you feel all the time or do they just know?

[III] Money is the root of evil. That is a lie. The real saying is The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.
The first you need to do is ask who is better at handling the money. Not who makes more. I don’t care if I am making 7 figures and she is only bringing 5 figures to the table. If she is the best at managing money. Then she will be handling the books. Now that said. There are two things to do. 1: You have to know what is in the books. Don’t let them handle it and forget it. The information should be shared freely and explained. 2: You both should keep a joint and one separate account.  Expenses should be based on percentage not income.

Know you financial expectations and FICO score going in to marriage. That can help you know if you plan buying a house or help clearing your partners credit. Also who will be staying home with the yet to be born child? Childcare is not cheap. What are your plans retirement. These are the things you need to talk about ahead of time.

[IV]  Do it for the kids
You don’t want to have a discussion about kids when you’re already expecting. That is too late. Be honest with your partner. Ask them; Do you want children? How many? Are you want adoption or natural? Who are the God Parents? What religion will the kids be?

[V] Keeping up with the Jones or living like the Jeffersons
What kind of lifestyle and what the financial goals do you and your partner want to aspire for? How much money is enough? Is being a retail manager good enough, District manager, CEO? Do you need the latest tech? Does she want that new car or want to visit new places every few weeks, month or year? Then again she might be just fine in a 2 bedroom apartment and a 2005 Nissan Altima. What your goals are need to be in sync.

[VI] Let’s talk about sex
I’m sure you have heard that after getting married sex is not a priority anymore. I have always found that funny. I am from the school of thought that sex should be a free for all once you are married. Not just during the honeymoon or a few months after. Rather for as long as you two are together. Now although you may be willing it takes commitment to have good sex. Just because you may not be in the mood or too busy. There also comes a time when some men just can not get it up nor keep it up. There are pills for that now. So that is not an excuse anymore. Now if your partner is just not in the mood. That is not cool nor acceptable. You two have to be able to talk about what you like, want and need in bed.  Communication is key.

[VII]  Until you have kids or get live in help…
The chores is the less talked about part in marriage. Don’t fall into that sexes role of expecting her to do all the housework. This is not the 60′s. She will have a job and be tiered after a long day of work too. Setting up who will do the cooking and on what days will help you avoid fights. Have laundry days. Divide the chores. When you have kids they can take it over. Until then have a routine.

[VIII] The Big Picture
Happiness does not just happen. It is designed and reworked together with your partner. It will not be perfect but it will and should be something you wake everyday happy to be a part of. When you have these conversations keep the big picture in mind. You love this person, compromise is a must but not at the cost of bitterness or resentment.

Does a flirt make a bad partner?

How do you deal with a partner that is a flirt? In my case, I would be that partner. I am a flirt. I have always been and don’t see that changing anytime soon. To be fair I let you know from day one about this flaw in my character. What do you do when your partner is a flirt? Do you think it’s all harmless?

While I personally think flirting is fine there is however “flirting etiquette” that should be followed. If your partners flirting is hurting your feelings then you should respectfully ask them to stop. Here are some ways to talk to and deal with a flirt.

[I] Use “I” not “You”

Don’t accuse your partner. Do not use angry words. Tell them your concerns in terms of  how it affects your feelings. Clearly  phrasing your concerns and making sure your partner doesn’t feel personally attacked helps them see things from your perspective. This will help you reach a  compromise.

[II] One topic at a time please

Flirting is an issue that should be handled on its own. There is the potential for enough drama without any extra baggage.  Resolving issues takes time. Don’t let your partner make you feel like it’s all in you head. What you feel is never just in your head.

[III] Somethings got to give

So you have had that talk with your partner. They agreed to stop but yet after a few days or weeks they do it again. Now they know how you feel because you have clearly explained yourself to them. Yet they continue to flirt. Obviously they do not care about you nor respect you. It’s time to reconsider the relationship and flirt with the idea of moving on.

[IV] Is it you?

I know, I know. How can I even go there. The thing is you have to make sure you are not over reacting before you get to that last straw of leaving someone. Just do a quick pro/con check list first. That is all I am saying. Ask yourself are you just a jealous person?
 

[V] The cure for jealousy is trust

I think one of the most distasteful things that can happen in a relationship is the formation of jealousy. People do not change but behaviors can. If you trust your partner flirting should not bother you. Unless it is not simple flirting and it crosses over to just plain disrespect.  Compromise is the key to a long healthy relationship. Once you put trust first you may find out that there is nothing to be jealous about.

Change is good but not always when it comes to relationships. Here is why

It seems I am a fixer. I fix websites. I fix gadgets. I jailbreak iDevices. Also it appears this tendency to repair has worked its way to my personal life. I always seem to date women that have something that needs to be repaired in their life.

While changing things to make them better is fine for inanimate products, it however does not work so well when it comes to relationships. Don’t get me wrong. Relationships do need regular maintenance  for prime functionality. Some times when you take things apart you can not put them back together. Somethings are irreparable. Here are the things you can not change in a relationship and expect it not to have a massive effect.

[I] Secrets are time bombs waiting to happen
We all have them. We all hide them.  The thing is secrets ALWAYS come out. How and when that happens is another thing all together. There is always something your partner has never told you. Most people find that thought intolerable. So what happens? You poke and poke and poke some more. What you find out could be silly or really shameful. Either way it’s something they wanted to forget. If it happened while with you. That is something you need to deal with. Most likely it was from way back in the day. Good job now you have a fight on your hands over something that happened in the past. No getting over this one.

[II] But wait there’s more
My family is going to be part of the deal. Her family going to be part of the package. It’s something you are going to have to deal with in a relationship. You should never be the one trying to fix issues between you and your partner’s family.  It’s their  job to keep the peace between you and them. Should you ever step over the family line  and try to, there will be problems. If your partner cares about you,they will keep you out of the family firing squad.

[III] My Friends, your friends & our friends
You have friends, she has friends. You like some of them. Truth be told some of them you will not like at all. You know some of them are going to hate you. Some will be out to get with you. Either way they are off-limits. Don’t try to change your partners friends. You will not win that fight. Also your two group of friends  may not get along with each other. Just try to keep the peace.

[IV] You say tomato, I say tomahto
Your partner is not going to share your likes and dislikes 100% of the time. Not even twins do that. So don’t try to change them. That is not to say you can not guide them to something more to your liking or compromising with them. Just don’t do it too much or resentment will build and over time end your relationship.

[V] Trust: Can only be broken once
Trust issues can be mended but not fixed.  Once mended they will never be as solid as it was before. Which is why some wonder if it should even be attempted. Without trust, there is no such thing as love. Since love is the point of a relationship;  I say no lies, no games, just honesty please.

Love is costly emotionally and mentally. What are you willing to pay

Whoever said Love don’t cost a thing told a bigger lie than when Bush said read my lips “No new taxes.” Love is expensive. Very expensive. It can be monetary, emotional, mental even physical at times. Is it worth it? Well love can be wonderful. Love can be tragic. What becomes of love is up to you and your partner. Love takes sacrifice but it should not take more than you feel you are getting back in benefits. That is not healthy. So here are somethings that you should not be doing for the sake love.

[I] Will sex for love

Repeat after me; Love is love, and sex is sex. Guys get this at a very young age. Women seem to not get this fact very often or at all in some cases. At times women feel the need to have sex as an extension of love. That is not the case. It is a very big mistake to do this. Its very critical you don’t do this when you are starting to go out with someone. Sex does not strengthen a relationship if it is failing unless that was the problem in the first place. Sex does not become love.

[II] Logically illogical

A white lie is like a white flag going up. That person has surrendered. They will no longer try. What have they given up on? Trying, that’s right; they have realized that they don’t have to be a genuine person anymore. Don’t put logic to the back of your mind people. If someone is able to lie to you over some nonsense then what happens with the big stuff. STD’s, cheating, money, life plans and love. That’s right they will lie about those too.

[III] Disappearing Act

Tell me if this sounds familiar. Your friend starts dating someone who is great but you don’t see them anymore. I don’t mean you go from girls/guys night out to only events. I mean you don’t see this person anymore at all. They don’t show up to the bar, Social Media meet ups or any of the things they use to like. Did they have high goals and for the most part were on track to meet them? Does it seem like they abandon those plans? Well guess what? This happens all the time. People lose who they are when they get infatuated with someone they date. You should never lose who you are in a relationship. If you do not keep your identity what are you brining to the table? That’s right nothing. No one wants to be with a person that has no worth. Make time for the other person but don’t follow them like a lost puppy.

[IV] Set guidelines and rules

Look if someone says they love you and you have not had a talk about being in a relationship; chances are they never will be in a relationship with you. Why? Most likely you are already sleeping with them and are committed to them because they used the words “I love you.” Newsflash, they’re not committed to you in anyway shape or form. Until you have a title other than friend. That will be what others know you as and what your non committed partner sees you as. You have to set guidelines as to what you will accept from a person. If you are alright and can justify to yourself that being friends with benefits to someone you love is acceptable then so be it. Most people cannot so set some ground rules that can not be crossed. These rules are for you to live by. They’re to keep you in check.

[V] Why keep a penny with a hole in it

Integrity is one of the few thing you can’t buy no matter how rich you are. If that is the case why would keep someone under the illusion that they still own such a priceless commodity. If someone cheats on you don’t give a 2nd chance to them. Why? Well catching someone who is cheating means you caught them that one time out of god knows how many other times. A person does not just lie once. One lie has to cover another lie and another lie.. You are worth more than that. Don’t sell yourself short to people that are really not worth the time, effort, or love.

 

Online Dating; It’s not that hard, here’s some tips

I have gone over cheating online and getting away with it. So I thought I would talk about online dating in a positive way. People sometimes use  social networking sites for dating or to try to find love. I think online dating has it’s perks. You can basically filter out what you are looking for in the person you want to date.  It’s not all roses in the garden though. There are some snakes in the grass.  I have gotten excited for a first date only to find out that the person online is not the person advertised. They look the same but there is no spell check for face to face  conversation. To find a great catch you have to be smart.  Here are some ways to  find a good relationship online. Love is on you, good luck with that one.

[I] They look too hot, somethings missing
I hate when a picture does not match what I see in person. So if someone just has a head shot on their online profile. You are in your right to ask for a full body picture. Noting sleazy but you have to know what you are getting into.

[II] Be real
Some people will lie about anything and everything. If S/He is capable of lying just for an online date, then that is just crazy. You should only be with people who are real. Than again you get what you put in to things. So be real with yourself and the expectations you put on people.

[IV]  I should know a little something about you based on your profile
Your profile is your window to the world. This is how people get to know you. Your online pictures should not let me know anything extra other than that your are not a mutant. Now if their profile is not informative enough remember Google is your friend. I’m not saying you need to do a full background check but don’t walk in blind either.

[V] Don’t do limbo
Start offline and face to face communication as soon as possible. It’s easy to carry on a conversation via text or Gtalk  but in person how when you get to know someone. Request their number and set up a date or at least a Starbucks meeting. There is no suitable replacement for face time. That said, you have to trust your intuition. If a guy only calls at midnight aka booty call hours, then you need to let that go. I don’t care what they say. You need sunlight.

Are you a desperate woman? Don’t be, guys hate that.

Finding love is important and you should not let pride get in the way. On the other hand sometimes pride can be not only your friend but also your protection. Pride stops you from looking desperate.  Pride helps you not settle for less. So I repeat, No man wants a woman who is desperate. Here is the things not to do if you do not want to look desperate:

[I] Confidence
You know you have a lot to offer, so act like it.  We guys like women that are sure of themselves. Be confident and demand more out of the person trying to get with you. Do not just settle for what ever your partner expects from you. Do what is best for you and stand by it

[II] Live your life
Don’t be  on call. You’re not a doctor and should not be ready for his every whim. We do like some challenges. Not every text needs to be jumped on right away. We want to be part of your life not your everything. Do you sometimes.

[III] Clingy is not sexy
We want to know you’re still interested but not so much that you don’t give us room to breathe.   Let us start the communication once in a while.

[IV] Brains are sexy
I don’t know about other guys but for me I love brains. I can’t stand a girl who has no education. That does not mean you must have a PhD or a masters but you should be able to carry a conversation past Dancing with the Stars.  You don’t have to be a techie but be comfortable enough with whatever you are talking about.

[V] No labels please
What its only been like 3 dates. Why has your Facebook relationship status  changed to ‘In a Relationship’? Slow down a bit. Yes, I like you but come on can I get some time to make sure we actually work.  Requesting or worse demanding a label is the fastest way to make a guy run for the exit .

[VI] Over analyzing is like creating your own purgatory
Try as you may you will never think like a guy unless you are one. So stop trying to understand our actions. If I don’t call you back; that means I don’t want to call you back. You calling me does not change that. If fact chasing after a guy that does not give you the time of day just makes you look desperate.

Why do guys say these things to women? Or Things guys should not say to women and why

Ok, let’s face it. Guys we’re not the smartest people out there. Yes we know how to play the game. Hell, we invented the game. But like all great players we have a hard time transitioning from player to coach to owner. Women seem to be able to handle this a lot better than guys. They seem to know just what to say. They have a built-in senor or something. While guys tend to not have this nifty gift.

 

1^st let me clear some things up for you. I am not talking about the guys out there that are just jerks. Honestly women you knew he was a jerk before you got into that mix bowl and stirred things up. No, what I am talking about is that nice guy that sometimes says things that make you look at him like “WTF” were you thinking. I have found myself on the end of that look a few times.

 

Then there are the things you say but mean something else. You say you are sorry but then do it again and again. It is not a good look. It comes to the point when you say one thing and she knows it means another all together. That too is not a good look. Here is my list of things a guy should not say to women. I thank those of you that sent in your own list. Sorry, I could not use them all.

 

 

I.                   You’re good but not as good as her

What are you thinking? I don’t care she is the one that asked the question. I don’t care if she is the one that said to be honest and she can take it. The fact is, she cannot take it and it is not ok to ever ever ever say that. If she ask you if she is good. The answer is “you are like sunshine on a warm day”

 

II.                My last girlfriend or The last girl I dated

I know those are not a full sentence. It does not have to be. You were half out your mind when you said the full one. You had to be. It is the only thing that makes sense. Those words in that order should never be said to your current girl. It does not matter if your current has a title or not.

 

III.             Do you & I’ma do me

So what you are saying is. Let’s just be friends with benefits. What she hears is “I’m not good enough to be with full-time.”

IV.             What’s the issue?

You may not see what the big deal is. You may not see what the issue is. You, you, you…See a theme here? It’s not about you. It’s about an issue in your relationship that was big enough for her to try to communicate to you about. You should be happy she did that instead of letting it build then blow. So, in the future just ask how can we fix this instead.

 

V.                Who said what?

Calling your lady an elephant is not only mean but also a very quick way to end that relationship. The fact of the matter is that she is an elephant. She does not forget anything. So if you said something she will remember. Now the thing is; I have found that while all women do not forget; they can however remember wrong and out of order. It all depends on the state of mind they are in. Since the only time this conversation comes up is when you are arguing or fighting. Don’t deny you said it. You did say it. We have established that. This is not a fight you are going to win. Apologize and keep it moving.

 

 

VI.             I’ll never

You might as well say I am lying through my teeth right now to you. There is no way you can say I will never anything. Things happen, situations occur and we’re all human. No guy ever intents to hurt his girl. Well unless she cheated on him and he is playing out an incredibly complex revenge scheme. (Insert evil laugh here). You build up walls. People you care about get a ladder to climb over that wall. Once inside they can and will do things they should not do, those things hurt you. They do this not because they want to but because that is our nature. We say and do things that are not nice. The key is to minimize this. Saying you will never is not the way to do that because women are elephants.

 

 

VII.           It is what it is”

Just because it is what it is now does not mean it has to stay that way. Things can change and there is always a potential for change. It is what it is, in its self is not wrong. It is just the meaning behind the sentence that drives women crazy. Humm. Don’t say that one either. I meant makes them uncomfortable. What they hear is that you don’t want to change and you are happy the way things are. That may not be what you mean but that is not what you just said. Learn some synonyms and expand you speech.

 

 

VIII.        It meant nothing

It may have just been a quick kiss (does not matter if you were drunk), one night stand (again does not matter if you were drunk) or worse of all; a continued 2nd relationship. It may have just been fun for you and no emotions were tied to this other woman. But guess what, it means something to your main lady. It meant a whole lot. Show her some respect by recognizing that. You have done enough already.

 

 

IX.             You use to be…

She used to be what? She used to be good enough for you. Now she is not? She used to do the things you like. Now she does not?  She used to be perfect. Now she is not? You don’t mean it that way but that is how it comes out. Guess what? You use to be a nice guy before that comment. Never say “you use to be” to a woman. She will automatically replace the words “you use to be” with “I am no longer good enough for him.” Which if repeated enough will lead to one of two things; [A] She becomes resentful and spiteful or [B] gets low self esteem and miserable. Either way it’s not a good thing for a relationship.

 

 

X.                Sorry your hurt

Are you really sorry or are you just going through the motions. Even if you really meant it. It does not sound that way. After all it was you that hurt her in the first place. Just apologize for what you did not the outcome. It’s a given she is hurt. That is not the issue. What you did is.

 

XI.             Your friend looks hot

You might as of well just have said her sister is hot because that it is the something to her. You should never check out your girl’s friends. I know we’re guys we are going to do it but don’t do it so openly and use some common sense. Stating things like this in public to her of all people is not a smart move.

 

XII.          The last stupid thing you said

It may have been an innocent remark that you said and she may have had an attitude for only a few moments then played if off like everything was ok; but she will remember. It goes into her file of reasons you are not worth her time. Once that file system fills up. You are out of there. So just think before you speak.  



The 10 Types of Sex: Which one do you like? [UPDATED]

I. Anyone anytime  aka Hoe or man whore

Nothing is really needed to be said about this. You know what it is.

II. Well now?!

In today’s society, after your 5th good date together, you both know that sex is a forgone conclusion. Sex is more of a formality than a result of any type of  passion at the moment in heat. Then you find out s/he [add new discovery here].. well now..

III. Morning Pick me up

Whoever said that best part about waking up is Folger’s in my cup must have never had morning sex.

IV. Wait. What, now? Really?

One of my favorite sex type  is when I am watching TV or playing the Xbox then out the blue;  Wait. What, now? Really?   You’re in bed on your iPad, on the couch watching TV and an innocent touch on the thigh turns into a rub, the rub turns into a that, then  that turns into this and before you know it you’re at it like wild animals.

V. Not yours, Mine or Protected by Viper Stand back

Say your significant other is going out with her girls or he is going  have lunch with an old “friend” from college. Aka the enemy will be there. What do you do? Tell them to have a good time, and give them the business for all your worth before you send them on their way; leaving your DNA on them for the rest of the night.

VI. Shhhh! We need to be quiet

Sneaky sex is that hush hush we need some pillows. Home for Christmas don’t want the family to hear us type of sex.  For some reason the thrill of danger works well for a lot of people. Not to mention the  muffled moans and silent shudders.

VII. Love

It feels like time stops  you see the heavens part and doves fly around her head. The orgasm don’t mean as much as the person you are with.  I just got a cavity.

VIII. Remember me?

You hook up with a person from your past and it doesn’t take them long to remind you why you put up with them for so long.  This is dangerous because the sex is so good you might temporarily forget why you left.  

VIII. Keep it on

From time to time, I mus say there is something sexy about her riding while still in a nice black skirt and white blouse. I’m sure your partner can wear other things but that works for me.

IX. Just that

So you thought it was going to be  a full round and it turns out it was just foreplay. “What a waste of time” you think to yourself. Until you notice some new tricks.

X.  Your favorite

This is what works for you regardless what you have read.

UPDATE:

It has been brought to my attention that I forgot about two very important types of sex. Thank you to all those that sent in emails and tweets via Twitter at me.  So here you go the two requested.

XI. Angry

This one has been known to be triggered on purpose by us guys just to go at it. It hot wild and without any apologies. The best stress reliever known to man. Not good for fixing any issues in the relationship but for a little while you have no problems. Just bliss.

XII. Make up

Welcome back home. Where have you been. Why were we apart so long. Don’t mistake make up sex for Remember sex. Remember sex is a one time maybe two time thing with someone you know you are not going back to. Make up sex is after you who have been fighting and you are now all clam. Talked it out and moved on. You are going at it as one again. Good times.