30 & dating: Ladies these are the things to and not do

It has been a while since I have written any dating advice. I had not really been paying any attention to it until the other day when one of my female friends asked me what happen to the “Weekend Off Topic” that I use to do. Who knew anyone was paying attention. We had a very long discussion about dating after you are secure and established. It takes time to be happy with who you are. It is even harder to be happy with where you are in your life. Then add in a relationship. That is the breakdown of our intense conversation. So to you Miss DC Socialite…Dating at 30 or over.

I think at your 20′s you don’t yet know who you are. You may be mature and have an idea but you can not really who know you are. It’s not possible because you have not lived life enough. You are just getting out of school or just starting a career. It takes experiences. Meeting men in your 20′s is not the same as in your 30’s. Your priorities should have by this time evolved. If you still have the same perspective on dating you did when you were in your 20′s, you still have some maturing to do. At this stage in the game family should be your main focus.

By now you should have that dream job you put so much work into. Your school loans are under control. You have a car you love or if a city dweller Zipcar & Metro are your best friends. Basically your life is in order. You are happy with who you are and where you are. Dating is no longer something that is a must for you. It’s a want. Now with most wants sometimes common sense is thrown out the window. The definition of dating really means: A courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the others suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.

Now when you get to a particular age, we will say 30 for the sake of argument; you start to drift away from that definition. Somehow suitability is mistaken for an over compromise and disregard of good judgement. Here are some steps and rules to help you in your search with emphasis placed on the digital world.

[I] Settling

Older women settle for less than they deserve a whole lot because they feel their biological clock is ticking. So they date someone they really don’t want instead of being single. In this day and age you don’t have to do that. There many well-respected dating sites out there that do much of the leg work for you. It literally does all the work. eHarmony, OK Cupid, Match and even Facebook used the right way can do a good job filtering out the rift raft. So give it a try before settling for anything.

[II] Looking for Mr. Forever with Mr. Right now

This mistake happens from the jump. You are dating to look in hopes of finding a groom eventually. Date to get to know someone. Stop trying to marry on day one. Try to build a friendship first and maybe a relationship can form out of that. When you try to force something what ends up is you force the complete reverse. Dating as an interview for a husband is a quick way to make sure you stay single.

[III] Expand your pool

The only thing constant about life is change. Therefore you should try to be open to it. I know at this age you differently know what you want but that is no reason not to sample. Everyone has a list of must haves in a person. While that list is important because you have spent years refining it and it helps you not compromise. Holding steadfast to that list and not exploring outside your type can lead to your type being single. Use good judgement instead of being closed-minded.

[IV] Determine if it’s ok that you make more

If your flash answer was no. Please stop reading, go back to number 3. Expand your pool. You are in your 30′s. We have established you have your house of cards in order. Keep in mind that not everyone keeps their cards stacked the same way. Let’s take it a step further; you don’t necessarily need a man to take care of you. Neyo wrote the song “She got her own” for you. At this stage in your life you have homes, cars and travel off your own income. Big deal, you can’t have a family with contentment. Now that does not mean settling for a bum. If you meet someone who is happy and making enough yet still has ambitions don’t write them off.

[V] Stop being a punk

That is the only way to call it. You have a date and it was wonderful. Fairytale, storybook, Hollywood and an endless love type date. There were a few more dates of equal caliber. You feel like your ready to jump the broom. Hold on there buckaroo. Use your patience to talk things out. I have been told I get smitten very quickly. A good friend of mine explained the difference between smitten and sprung. Sprung is all lust but when you are smitten you lack reason and good judgment. You are running on 100% emotion. After that high runs out usually a month later. Women in their 30′s end things if they have not progressed past simply dating. Quickly throwing in the towel does only one thing; ensure you remain single. Evaluate the person you are with. Have open and honest discussions about what your end game is with each other. Note: that does not mean wedding bells but you can allude to a more official role in each others lives.

[VI] Dating on a clock

What I mean by that is giving yourself time frames to make life events happen. When there are other people involved that almost never works out. So skip the timeline and just live life. You will be surprised how well that works out when you can take your time to enjoy rather than worry.

[VII] Make time to date

You are CIO, CEO, CPA, Director or a manager. You already have a relationship with your career. You love that relationship so much that at times you may forget there are other types of relationships out there. At 30 our lives are busy. We are doing 100′s of things for our careers. We are buzzing around town honoring our social obligations and maybe even have a mini me at home too. Unfortunately that leaves little time for dates. The thing is if you do not make the time. You will not just happen to have it.

[VIII] 1 at a time

Date more than one person. This does not mean that you got out and be a free spirit. What it means is get to know more than one person until you feel only one person deserves you time. Be picky not snobby and not shallow.

[IX] Communication is key

Even in the mature 3rd decade of your life. It can still be hard to find the words to express yourself. Yeah, it’s easy in the office. You can hold down a meeting with out breaking a sweat but personal one on one may not be your cup of tea. Well you need to go British and start loving that tea. Talk, talk and talk some more.

[X] Don’t do the same old same old

You are not going be one of those lame all people who just do dinner and movie are you? Good because you should not. You should think outside of the box and do something creative. Or at least have him do something creative. Put the ball in their court and see what they come up with. The last thing you want is to get in a rut while just starting out.

{XI] Take care of you

Now the most important thing to remember is you come first. Don’t worry so much about dating that you forget to take care of yourself.

Drifting apart? Here is how to stay a couple

 

It has been a while since I have written any relationship advice so I thought I do that this weekend. Do you feel like you and your partner are drifting apart? It seems that the only time you two talk is to ask for something. You don’t have anything to talk about other than to talk about why you don’t talk anymore. Let’s say she wants to go to the movies but you are more of a stay at home and watch Game of Thrones type of person.

It’s more like you have a pen pal more than a loving relationship. You don’t mean for this to happen it just does over time.  You’re both pretty busy with work, maybe the kids and errands. After work you just want to be left alone and in the morning you have no time for anything else. Here is how you can start to work your back to each other.  Try just these 3 things and see how you do.

[I] Make time to talk to each other

I don’t mean talking about your kids, bills or money issues. No I mean take the time to find out what is going on in their life. You can even talk about a show or say a blog you might have read called Saintel’s Daily.

[II] Enjoy each other again

By that I mean how about you go out on a weekend trip. Nothing too expensive or you can pick up a hobby together. Basketball or dancing.Friday movie night or even just an afternoon coffee date at Starbucks.

[III] Go on a date

Not one of those quick movie nights. I mean a real date. Food at a very nice restaurant and a show. Act like you are dating again for the first time. Keep your phone in the car and no other devices at the table. Have conversations about anything other than work and if you have them kids. You want to try to learn as much about each other as possible.

Does a flirt make a bad partner?

How do you deal with a partner that is a flirt? In my case, I would be that partner. I am a flirt. I have always been and don’t see that changing anytime soon. To be fair I let you know from day one about this flaw in my character. What do you do when your partner is a flirt? Do you think it’s all harmless?

While I personally think flirting is fine there is however “flirting etiquette” that should be followed. If your partners flirting is hurting your feelings then you should respectfully ask them to stop. Here are some ways to talk to and deal with a flirt.

[I] Use “I” not “You”

Don’t accuse your partner. Do not use angry words. Tell them your concerns in terms of  how it affects your feelings. Clearly  phrasing your concerns and making sure your partner doesn’t feel personally attacked helps them see things from your perspective. This will help you reach a  compromise.

[II] One topic at a time please

Flirting is an issue that should be handled on its own. There is the potential for enough drama without any extra baggage.  Resolving issues takes time. Don’t let your partner make you feel like it’s all in you head. What you feel is never just in your head.

[III] Somethings got to give

So you have had that talk with your partner. They agreed to stop but yet after a few days or weeks they do it again. Now they know how you feel because you have clearly explained yourself to them. Yet they continue to flirt. Obviously they do not care about you nor respect you. It’s time to reconsider the relationship and flirt with the idea of moving on.

[IV] Is it you?

I know, I know. How can I even go there. The thing is you have to make sure you are not over reacting before you get to that last straw of leaving someone. Just do a quick pro/con check list first. That is all I am saying. Ask yourself are you just a jealous person?
 

[V] The cure for jealousy is trust

I think one of the most distasteful things that can happen in a relationship is the formation of jealousy. People do not change but behaviors can. If you trust your partner flirting should not bother you. Unless it is not simple flirting and it crosses over to just plain disrespect.  Compromise is the key to a long healthy relationship. Once you put trust first you may find out that there is nothing to be jealous about.

Change is good but not always when it comes to relationships. Here is why

It seems I am a fixer. I fix websites. I fix gadgets. I jailbreak iDevices. Also it appears this tendency to repair has worked its way to my personal life. I always seem to date women that have something that needs to be repaired in their life.

While changing things to make them better is fine for inanimate products, it however does not work so well when it comes to relationships. Don’t get me wrong. Relationships do need regular maintenance  for prime functionality. Some times when you take things apart you can not put them back together. Somethings are irreparable. Here are the things you can not change in a relationship and expect it not to have a massive effect.

[I] Secrets are time bombs waiting to happen
We all have them. We all hide them.  The thing is secrets ALWAYS come out. How and when that happens is another thing all together. There is always something your partner has never told you. Most people find that thought intolerable. So what happens? You poke and poke and poke some more. What you find out could be silly or really shameful. Either way it’s something they wanted to forget. If it happened while with you. That is something you need to deal with. Most likely it was from way back in the day. Good job now you have a fight on your hands over something that happened in the past. No getting over this one.

[II] But wait there’s more
My family is going to be part of the deal. Her family going to be part of the package. It’s something you are going to have to deal with in a relationship. You should never be the one trying to fix issues between you and your partner’s family.  It’s their  job to keep the peace between you and them. Should you ever step over the family line  and try to, there will be problems. If your partner cares about you,they will keep you out of the family firing squad.

[III] My Friends, your friends & our friends
You have friends, she has friends. You like some of them. Truth be told some of them you will not like at all. You know some of them are going to hate you. Some will be out to get with you. Either way they are off-limits. Don’t try to change your partners friends. You will not win that fight. Also your two group of friends  may not get along with each other. Just try to keep the peace.

[IV] You say tomato, I say tomahto
Your partner is not going to share your likes and dislikes 100% of the time. Not even twins do that. So don’t try to change them. That is not to say you can not guide them to something more to your liking or compromising with them. Just don’t do it too much or resentment will build and over time end your relationship.

[V] Trust: Can only be broken once
Trust issues can be mended but not fixed.  Once mended they will never be as solid as it was before. Which is why some wonder if it should even be attempted. Without trust, there is no such thing as love. Since love is the point of a relationship;  I say no lies, no games, just honesty please.

Love is costly emotionally and mentally. What are you willing to pay

Whoever said Love don’t cost a thing told a bigger lie than when Bush said read my lips “No new taxes.” Love is expensive. Very expensive. It can be monetary, emotional, mental even physical at times. Is it worth it? Well love can be wonderful. Love can be tragic. What becomes of love is up to you and your partner. Love takes sacrifice but it should not take more than you feel you are getting back in benefits. That is not healthy. So here are somethings that you should not be doing for the sake love.

[I] Will sex for love

Repeat after me; Love is love, and sex is sex. Guys get this at a very young age. Women seem to not get this fact very often or at all in some cases. At times women feel the need to have sex as an extension of love. That is not the case. It is a very big mistake to do this. Its very critical you don’t do this when you are starting to go out with someone. Sex does not strengthen a relationship if it is failing unless that was the problem in the first place. Sex does not become love.

[II] Logically illogical

A white lie is like a white flag going up. That person has surrendered. They will no longer try. What have they given up on? Trying, that’s right; they have realized that they don’t have to be a genuine person anymore. Don’t put logic to the back of your mind people. If someone is able to lie to you over some nonsense then what happens with the big stuff. STD’s, cheating, money, life plans and love. That’s right they will lie about those too.

[III] Disappearing Act

Tell me if this sounds familiar. Your friend starts dating someone who is great but you don’t see them anymore. I don’t mean you go from girls/guys night out to only events. I mean you don’t see this person anymore at all. They don’t show up to the bar, Social Media meet ups or any of the things they use to like. Did they have high goals and for the most part were on track to meet them? Does it seem like they abandon those plans? Well guess what? This happens all the time. People lose who they are when they get infatuated with someone they date. You should never lose who you are in a relationship. If you do not keep your identity what are you brining to the table? That’s right nothing. No one wants to be with a person that has no worth. Make time for the other person but don’t follow them like a lost puppy.

[IV] Set guidelines and rules

Look if someone says they love you and you have not had a talk about being in a relationship; chances are they never will be in a relationship with you. Why? Most likely you are already sleeping with them and are committed to them because they used the words “I love you.” Newsflash, they’re not committed to you in anyway shape or form. Until you have a title other than friend. That will be what others know you as and what your non committed partner sees you as. You have to set guidelines as to what you will accept from a person. If you are alright and can justify to yourself that being friends with benefits to someone you love is acceptable then so be it. Most people cannot so set some ground rules that can not be crossed. These rules are for you to live by. They’re to keep you in check.

[V] Why keep a penny with a hole in it

Integrity is one of the few thing you can’t buy no matter how rich you are. If that is the case why would keep someone under the illusion that they still own such a priceless commodity. If someone cheats on you don’t give a 2nd chance to them. Why? Well catching someone who is cheating means you caught them that one time out of god knows how many other times. A person does not just lie once. One lie has to cover another lie and another lie.. You are worth more than that. Don’t sell yourself short to people that are really not worth the time, effort, or love.

 

She said “This” but she means “This”: What women really mean

Relationships are based on trust. Trust is based on what you do. Women love to tell you actions speak louder than words. Men will tell you that women say this because communication just does not end up working for them very well. Not to say that is completely their fault. Yes, signals to get crossed but we men are to blame too. We at times do not take the time to decipher the intricate code of a womans speech.  We hear a woman say ‘yes’ and mean ‘no’, or say ‘no’ but really mean ‘yes’.  When it comes to understanding the language of women we all could use some help. This is my gift to you.

[I] I Love You
This is the most to the point as women can get. If a women says they love you. They mean it. They don’t play games with  those magic three words.

[II] How Is Your Girlfriend?
Women never ever care  about the other woman. If she is your platonic friend asking this question what she really means is, “When are you two breaking up?” If its your girlfriend asking this question what she really means is, “I don’t like you hanging out with your female friend. Stop it so I don’t have to ask this question again.”

[III] It’s Cool
If during a discussion or disagreement a women tells you “it’s cool” you need to stop what you are doing and apologize. Why? Well she is done with what you had to say. Credibility is out the door. She has made up her mind. She is not really calm. She is just over it.

[IV] Excuse Me?
What she really meant is What the hell did you just say to me?  This is like a warning shot in the air. She didn’t like it and wants an explanation why you said it now, this very moment!

[V] Of Course I Miss You
Listen, if you have to ask then the answer is no. If she gives you this answer she just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

[VI] Nevermind, Forget It
What she really means is Its on my mind now and I am not forgetting it. You should be thinking of what you did wrong or what she thinks you did wrong and how to fix it.

[VII] I Didn’t Hear My Phone or I’m going to sleep now
What she really means is that she does not want to speak with you. She looked at the caller ID saw it was you and just did not want to answer. Other side of that is she knows you will keep calling so she said she is going to sleep. If you know she never sleeps this early. Red Flag: what is really going on is either you did something wrong or she is doing something wrong.

[VIII] I’m Done
What she really means is I’m not done with you just yet but you are pushing it. She just wants you to shape up and do your part to make the relationship work.

[IX] I don’t want a relationship right now
Most women do not like to be single. Truth be told men don’t either. So if this statement is said. What is really meant is I’ve had too many bad experiences and the last person was just horrible. You could be their clone for all I know.  I am not trying to get hurt again. Yeah all that fits into ’I don’t want a relationship right now.

[X] I’ll Be Ready In Few Minutes
What she really means is I’ll be at least an hour.

[XI] I’m A Free Spirit
What she means is I’m promiscuous and proud of it AKA a hoe.

[XII] Who Is She?
What she really means is “I have Googled her, checked her Facebook, looked at her resume on LinkedIn, read her twitter post and know she is more than just a co-worker. Y’all friends. So don’t you dare say you don’t know her or you’re old friends from undergrad.”  Don’t lie to her. I mean if your cheating then you are caught anyway, just come clean. If this is just a platonic friend you might want to introduce the two or get rid of her. Clearly your girlfriend/wife is intimidated by her.

[XIII] It’s Complicated
What she really means is ‘I have someone in my life that I can’t let go. Now this does not mean she is cheating on him. It just means she has not let him go yet.

[XIV] You Make The Plans or what are you planing tonight?
What she really means is “You better take me out somewhere nice. I’m not talking Red lobster no chain restaurants.”

[XV] Fine
What she really means is I don’t want to talk about this anymore. You are not getting it.

[XVI] Nothing
What she means is everything is wrong and it is your fault right now. Fix it ASAP.

[XVII] Go ahead
What she means is no or else. Can I go to the bar with the fellas tonight since we have no plans? She says go ahead. Don’t do it.

[XVIII] No you call me
What she really means is Be a man and ask for my number. I don’t want yours.

[XIX] He’s just a friend
I think Biz Markie covered this already. But if you missed it what she really means is He is your replacement in case you mess up. We are just friends now but you just watch your step mister. *NOTE: May also be her friend with benefits. If this is new friend this should be a red flag.

[XX] When Are We Hanging Out?
What she really means is “I am ready and want to sleep with you. When can you make this happen?”

An Open relationship? I’d never do that or have you been doing it an didn’t realize it?

Did you know more than 50% off all marriages in the great United States of America end in divorce? Out of that 50% more than 80% of them end do lack of intimacy or monetary issues. The Journal of Sex Research said partners who said they were monogamous had in fact slept with someone outside of the relationship at least once. Some would say if you are going to do all that in the first place, why get married or get in to a monogamous relationship? Maybe we have it wrong. Maybe open relationships are the way things should be. If you read early chapters of the bible it sure was rampant and most behavioral scientists say monogamy is unnatural.

What is an an open relationship anyway? It’s when couple agree to be together, titles and everything but also agree to have relations; romantic or otherwise with other people. boundaries of acceptable behavior.

Most of society has condemned people who are in Open Relationships. They see them as practice them as “selfish” or they just don’t understand why someone would do it. That was my first thought about Will Smith and his wife Jada. They seem to have a great relationship and family. Yet they have been in a very public open relationship for many years. They claim that it helps their marriage rather than hurt it. This seem to be the claim of many people in open relationships.

They say people in monogamous relationships cheat then act like nothing like that would ever and has never happened. In an Open Relationship you know what your partner is doing. You two set up the rules of what is acceptable and what is not. You set out what works for you. My question to the only Open Relationship couple I know was what happens when the rules yourselves set up are not followed. They replied with “We would setup new rules.” I thought to myself, no I would not. I would look for another relationship. That was my first thought. Then I thought about it a little more. They are already in other relationships. What is the big deal constantly changing the rules of the game. Cheaters do it all the time.

I will take it a step further and ask is emotional being tied to someone else cheating? If it is then would that be an open relationship too?  I have been with a someone yet had a female friend that was platonic but emotionally we were very connected. My girlfriend knew it and was ok as long as I didn’t “do any thing stupid”, code for don’t you dare sleep with her. She was ok with it because I was with her. She had the title. So does that make me a cheater even if it is just emotional or was that an open relationship?

So are we as a society left with the option of being in a monogamous relationship where someone might cheat on you from time to time or be in an open relationship where they cheat openly with your permission?

Cheating Online is easy but this is how to get away with it long term

DOnT ChEaT!! Just break up with the person you are with.

If you really want to cheat read on.

Disclaimer: I say it again, It’s easier to end a relationship than be a cheater. Rubens Saintel does not condone or agree with this action at all. He can not be held accountable for your foolishness. He should not be judged by this post in future, past or present relationships to be, were or are.

I. Self identity Theft
This may sound common sense but now a days it seems that its expensive and people have it on lay away. Why would you use your real information in any of your shenanigans?  You should create an email that doesn’t have your real full name. Make it something vague  but not stalker type. Make it something like John.Doe@gmail.com (sorry if there is someone with that name). You should do the same thing for social networks.Why? Well because Facebook is like the  buffet of options.Keep in mind though that social networks are a minefield that can get you discovered very fast if not careful.

II. eHarmony is not harmonious
Do not use any of these sites. Why? You have to upload a profile picture to get people to notice you. What happens with pictures? They get noticed. Crazy concept, I know. The last thing you want is your partners best friend finding you on an online dating site. Use the site Ashley Madison. It’s a site specifically for lovable cheaters.  Their motto is: “Life is short. Have an affair. Craigslist also work but no sites that are made just for dating.

III. My other PC is a Mac

Picture this: your partner starts typing in Facebook.com and the browser auto-fills with your fake page because you forgot to log out.  Now she or he is reading all those messages from so and so.  Use public computers people. In this day and age it should be easy to do. Go to a Best Buy, Micro Center, Apple Store, hhGreg even a library works. I know you could lock down your computer down like Fort Knox but that will just arouse suspicion. The key to cheating is to act as though you have nothing to hide.

IV. Cone of silence

You don’t want that call from “insert name here” popping onto the screen while the love of your life is playing Angry Birds on your phone. Get a booty line. A phone line you only use for that one purpose. Its easy enough to do. There are online places just giving it away. Skype also works for this. If you really want to go all out get a 2nd phone all together a if your partner discovers it just say the office gave it to you and is making you carry it.

V.  What had happen was..
You didn’t listen to the advice and now suspicions are flying all over the place. Your partner is asking all types of questions that you just dont have answers for. A lot of questions, too many questions. What do you do? The internet provides all to those that look. There is s site for that,  Alibinetwork can give you the answers you do not have. It can send you fake email confirmations for doctors appointments and job interviews. It can also do caller ID spoofing so that someone thinks you’re in another country if need be. If you really can not think of an alibi (you should not be cheating)  They’ll even come up with  an excuse for you. This is not a free site. This dirty job will cost you anywhere from $30 to $500. Ask your self is it worth it? Just break up with her and save some money.

How to Help a friend with her relationship

• The Issue

Do you find it that you are always the Oprah or Dr. Phil to your friends? I am starting to find it hard to say comforting things to a friend who is dealing with what  she describes  as a relationship but to everyone else seems to be anything but a relationship by any stretch of the word.  As a guy I know what her ‘quote on quote’ relationship is but do you say anything? Every week seems like a major catastrophic fail on communication between them.

• The Advice

When it first happened, you really did care and were  supportive.  I mean, I can tell you as a guy it’s not easy to find a platonic friend that your girlfriend does not feel threaten by.  So you try to decipher her words through the sobs and snotty sniffles.  The next few times. You try to contribute something you hope is more helpful. Maybe the voice of reason. Who better than a guy to give the male bash/play book point of view.  Hey snap out of it! You’re just a booty call, trust me, he is not in to you like that. There will be no titles for you. Just speed dial under a code word.

• The WTF moment

If that still does not work and your patience starts to wear thin. You find yourself fighting the urge scream ‘Are you stupid or something?’  Instead, you ask her “if he treats you so badly, why are you still with him?’ You tell her that even though you might love him, you fight all the time, you are always crying, or angry, or hurt. All this is not worth the drama.  With the overwhelming amount of evidence to support your theory you assume that they will get it through their head that maybe this guy is not right for them.

She agrees with you but the very next week, the tears and the drama start over again.  You remind her of everything she has complained about, everything you have heard from her own lips, you read back texts she has received, voice mails even the DNA from the other woman that some how ended up on his clothes. Ok, maybe that is a bit much but you get the idea. This is when you get reminded you are unable to help your friend because she has issues.  You up and just let her know how you really feel about her man.

• The Red Flag

RED LIGHT with a cop behind you! Although she will forgive her man, she will not so easily forget those things you said to her about him. From this moment on your opinions, no matter how helpful are non and void.  Her first thought will be ‘you just don’t like him’ or ‘ you have it in for him’, and the stand by line, ‘he is not that bad just want to get at me’.

• Verdict

Never hate on your platonic girlfriend’s man even if  she is.  In the end she just wants you to listen to her. She likes having a guy that she can talk to that is not trying to get in her pants. In all honesty she doesn’t really care about your opinion one way or another. She just wants to get away from the drama her man brings but not feel the pitch fork her girlfriends are going to bring. You are her proof that a guy does exist. Just be supportive of her no matter what she decides to do about the “relationship”

Are You The Other Woman?

The other woman might not know she is in fact the other woman. She might think that she has a man who is committed only to her or that he is single. How do you know if you are the other woman. Well here are some signs to look for. This is what a guy hopes you do not see. Now if you know you are the other woman and continue that is on you.

[I] Mi casa no es tu casa

You have been dating for well over a month and you don’t know the color of my bathroom. 80% of the time that means the guy is cheating and you’re the one he is cheating with.

[II] An Army of One

We have been dating or just hanging out for a while now. You know of my friends but have never met any of them. Not knowing the people in my life is normal for few weeks but not knowing meeting any after a few months is suspect.

[III] Booty Call Hours

What is that you may ask. If you are only seeing him after 10pm on any given day; even days he is off work. Then you are the other woman. Now keep in mind that only works if you are dating. If you are just Friends with benefits you have no claim what so ever. You knew what you signed up for. 

[IV] No posting on my Wall

He says. I don’t have a Facebook page you can get to. My security settings won’t let me add anyone. Lie. He set them he knows how to change them to let you in. Ok, you managed to let him add you. Now he tells you don’t post on his wall. Or he may add you but he blocks you from seeing his wall all together. WTF? If you are alright with that you are not only the other woman but should really consider some self-help books.

[V] It’s the Batphone

Evey time I get a call I leave the room but only if it is a female. This female also happens to be a friend at work. Red flag women.

[VI] Text be gone

I just got a text. As soon as I am done reading and replying to it, Poof it’s deleted. Same goes for call logs.